Do Friends Know When You Are Online

love & friendship

Making Adept Friends

Looking to build new friendships? These tips can help you lot encounter people, first a conversation, and cultivate good for you connections that will ameliorate your life and well-being.

Why are friends so important?

Our society tends to place an accent on romantic relationships. We think that only finding that right person volition make u.s.a. happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are actually even more than important to our psychological welfare. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than almost anything else.

Friendships have a huge affect on your mental health and happiness. Skilful friends relieve stress, provide condolement and joy, and prevent loneliness and isolation. Developing close friendships tin can also take a powerful bear on on your physical wellness. Lack of social connectedness may pose every bit much of a chance as smoking, drinking also much, or leading a sedentary lifestyle. Friends are even tied to longevity. One Swedish study institute that, along with physical activity, maintaining a rich network of friends can add significant years to your life.

But close friendships don't only happen. Many of us struggle to run across people and develop quality connections. Whatever your age or circumstances, though, it's never likewise late to brand new friends, reconnect with old ones, and greatly better your social life, emotional health, and overall well-being.

The benefits of friendships

While developing and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, good for you friendships tin:

Improve your mood. Spending time with happy and positive friends tin can drag your mood and heave your outlook.

Help yous to reach your goals. Whether you're trying to become fit, give up smoking, or otherwise improve your life, encouragement from a friend can actually boost your willpower and increase your chances of success.

Reduce your stress and depression. Having an active social life tin eternalize your immune organization and help reduce isolation, a major contributing gene to depression.

Support y'all through tough times. Even if it's just having someone to share your bug with, friends can aid yous cope with serious illness, the loss of a job or loved 1, the breakup of a relationship, or any other challenges in life.

Support you as y'all age. As you historic period, retirement, illness, and the expiry of loved ones can frequently exit y'all isolated. Knowing there are people you tin can turn to for visitor and back up can provide purpose as you age and serve equally a buffer against depression, inability, hardship and loss.

Boost your cocky-worth. Friendship is a two-way street, and the "give" side of the discussion contributes to your own sense of self-worth. Being at that place for your friends makes you feel needed and adds purpose to your life.

Why online friends aren't plenty

Technology has shifted the definition of friendship in recent years. With the click of a button, we tin add a friend or make a new connection. But having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a close friend yous tin can spend time with in person. Online friends tin can't hug you when a crisis hits, visit y'all when you're sick, or gloat a happy occasion with you lot. Our virtually of import and powerful connections happen when we're face-to-face. So make it a priority to stay in touch in the real world, not just online.

What to look for in a friend

A friend is someone yous trust and with whom you share a deep level of agreement and communication. A proficient friend will:

• Show a genuine interest in what's going on in your life, what you lot have to say, and how you think and feel.
• Take y'all for who y'all are.
• Listen to you attentively without judging you, telling you how to think or feel, or trying to change the subject area.
• Feel comfortable sharing things virtually themselves with you.

As friendship works both ways, a friend is also someone you feel comfortable supporting and accepting, and someone with whom you lot share a bail of trust and loyalty.

Focus on the way a friendship feels, not what information technology looks like

The most important quality in a friendship is the fashion the human relationship makes yous feel—not how it looks on newspaper, how alike you seem on the surface, or what others think. Ask yourself:

• Exercise I experience improve after spending time with this person?
• Am I myself effectually this person?
• Practice I feel secure, or do I experience like I accept to picket what I say and do?
• Is the person supportive and am I treated with respect?
• Is this a person I tin trust?

The lesser line: if the friendship feels proficient, it is good. Simply if a person tries to control y'all, criticizes you, abuses your generosity, or brings unwanted drama or negative influences into your life, it's time to re-evaluate the friendship. A good friend does non crave you to compromise your values, always hold with them, or condone your own needs.

Tips for being more than friendly and social (even if you're shy)

If you lot are introverted or shy, it can feel uncomfortable to put yourself out in that location socially. But you don't have to be naturally approachable or the life of the party to make new friends.

Focus on others, not yourself. The key to connecting to other people is past showing interest in them. When you're truly interested in someone else'due south thoughts, feelings, experiences, and opinions, it shows—and they'll like you for it. You lot'll make far more friends by showing your interest rather than trying to get people interested in you. If you're non genuinely curious almost the other person, then terminate trying to connect.

[Read: Dealing with Loneliness and Shyness]

Pay attention. Switch off your smartphone, avoid other distractions, and make an effort to truly listen to the other person. Past paying shut attention to what they say, practice, and how they collaborate, you lot'll quickly become to know them. Small efforts get a long manner, such as remembering someone'due south preferences, the stories they've told y'all, and what's going on in their life.

Evaluating interest

Friendship takes two, so information technology's important to evaluate whether the other person is looking for new friends.

• Exercise they ask you questions well-nigh you, every bit if they'd similar to become to know yous better?
• Do they tell you things about themselves beyond surface modest talk?
• Do they requite you their full attention when y'all see them?
• Does the other person seem interested in exchanging contact information or making specific plans to get together?

If y'all tin't respond "yes" to these questions, the person may not exist the all-time candidate for friendship now, even if they genuinely like you. There are many possible reasons why not, so don't take it personally!

How to make new friends: Where to first

Nosotros tend to make friends with people nosotros cross paths with regularly: people we go to school with, work with, or live close to. The more than we see someone, the more likely a friendship is to develop. So, expect at the places you frequent equally you start your search for potential friends.

Some other big cistron in friendship is mutual interests. We tend to exist drawn to people who are like, with a shared hobby, cultural background, career path, or kids the same historic period. Call up near activities y'all enjoy or the causes y'all care about. Where tin you meet people who share the same interests?

Meeting new people

When looking to come across new people, effort to open yourself up to new experiences. Not everything you effort will pb to success but you can always larn from the experience and hopefully have some fun.

Volunteering tin be a great way to help others while also meeting new people. Volunteering also gives y'all the opportunity to regularly practice and develop your social skills.

[Read: Volunteering and its Surprising Benefits]

Accept a class or join a social club to come across people with common interests, such equally a book group, dinner club, or sports team. Websites such as Meetup.com tin assist yous discover local groups (or start your own) and connect with others who share similar interests.

Connect with your alumni association. Many colleges have alumni associations that meet regularly. You already have the college experience in common; bringing up former times makes for an piece of cake conversation starter. Some associations also sponsor community service events or workshops where you can meet more people.

Walk a dog. Canis familiaris owners ofttimes end and chat while their dogs sniff or play with each other. If dog ownership isn't right for you, volunteer to walk dogs from a shelter or a local rescue group.

Attend art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, music recitals, or other customs events where yous tin meet people with similar interests. Check with your library or local paper for events virtually you.

Comport like someone new to the area. Even if yous've lived in the aforementioned identify all your life, take the fourth dimension to re-explore your neighborhood attractions. New arrivals to any boondocks or metropolis tend to visit these places first—and they're ofttimes keen to meet new people and found friendships, also.

Cheer on your team. Going to a bar lonely can seem intimidating, but if you support a sports squad, find out where other fans go to watch the games. You automatically have a shared interest—your team—which makes it natural to start upwards a conversation.

Have a moment to unplug

Information technology'due south difficult to meet new people in whatsoever social situation if you lot're more interested in your phone than the people around you. Remove your headphones and put your smartphone away while you're in the checkout line or waiting for a jitney, for example. Making centre contact and exchanging pocket-sized talk with strangers is peachy do for making connections—and yous never know where information technology may atomic number 82!

Turning acquaintances into friends

We all accept acquaintances in our life—people we commutation small talk with as we go nigh our day or trade jokes or insights with online. While these relationships tin fulfill you in their own correct, with some effort, y'all can turn a coincidental acquaintance into a true friend.

The first footstep is to open up a little well-nigh yourself. Friendships are characterized by intimacy. True friends know most each other'due south values, struggles, goals, and interests. So, try sharing something a little bit more personal than you lot would commonly. You don't accept to reveal your most closely-held clandestine, just something a little more than revealing than talking about the weather or something y'all watched on TV and see how the other person responds. Do they seem interested? Practice they reciprocate by disclosing something almost themselves?

Other tips for strengthening an associate into a friend:

Invite a coincidental acquaintance out for a drink or to a motion-picture show. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice. Take the first step and attain out to a neighbor or piece of work colleague, for example—they will cheers afterward.

Carpool to work. Many companies offer carpool programs. If your employer doesn't, simply inquire a colleague if they'd like to share rides. Spending regular time together is a cracking mode to become to know others improve and offers the opportunity for uninterrupted and deeper conversation.

Track downward old friends via social media. It's easy to lose track of friends when you movement or change jobs, for example. Make the endeavor to reconnect and then turn your "online" friends into "real-world" friends past coming together up for coffee instead of chatting on Facebook or Twitter.

Overcoming obstacles to making friends

Is something stopping you from building the friendships yous'd like to have? Here are some common obstacles—and how you can overcome them.

If yous're too busy…

Developing and maintaining friendships takes time and endeavour, but even with a packed schedule, you can find ways to make the fourth dimension for friends.

Put it on your calendar. Schedule time for your friends just as you would for errands. Brand it automatic with a weekly or monthly standing appointment. Or simply make certain that you lot never leave a get-together without setting the next date.

Mix concern and pleasure. Figure out a fashion to combine your socializing with activities that you take to exercise anyway.  These could include going to the gym, getting a pedicure, or shopping. Errands create an opportunity to spend time together while still existence productive.

Grouping it. If you truly don't accept time for multiple one-on-one sessions with friends, prepare upwards a group become-together. It'due south a good style to introduce your friends to each other. Of course, y'all'll need to consider if everyone'southward compatible get-go.

If you're agape of rejection…

Making new friends ways putting yourself out there, and that can be scary. It's especially intimidating if y'all're someone who'due south been betrayed, traumatized, or abused in the past, or someone with an insecure zipper bail. But past working with the right therapist, you tin explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships.

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For more than general insecurities or a fear of rejection, it helps to evaluate your attitude. Practise you feel as if whatever rejection will haunt you lot forever or prove that you lot're unlikeable or destined to be friendless? These fears make it the fashion of making satisfying connections and go a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nobody likes to be rejected, only there are healthy ways to handle it:

• Just considering someone isn't interested in talking or hanging out doesn't automatically mean they're rejecting y'all equally a person. They may be busy, distracted, or have other things going on.
• If someone does reject you, that doesn't mean that you're worthless or unlovable. Possibly they're having a bad day. Mayhap they misread you lot or misinterpreted what you said. Or maybe they're merely not a nice person!
• Y'all're non going to similar anybody you run across, and vice versa. Like dating, building a solid network of friends tin be a numbers game. If you're in the addiction of regularly exchanging a few words with strangers you run into, rejections are less probable to hurt. There'southward always the next person. Focus on the long-term goal of making quality connections, rather than getting hung upwardly on the ones that didn't pan out.
• Go on rejection in perspective. It never feels good, but it's rarely as bad as you imagine. It's unlikely that others are sitting around talking about information technology. Instead of beating yourself up, give yourself credit for trying and see what you can acquire from the experience.

For better friendships, be a better friend yourself

Making a new friend is just the showtime of the journeying. Friendships accept time to grade and even more fourth dimension to deepen, so yous need to nurture that new connection.

Exist the friend that you lot would like to have. Treat your friend just as you desire them to treat you. Exist reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time.

Exist a skilful listener. Be prepared to listen to and support friends just as you want them to listen to and support y'all.

Give your friend space. Don't exist too clingy or needy. Everyone needs space to be alone or spend fourth dimension with other people equally well.

Don't set besides many rules and expectations. Instead, allow your friendship to evolve naturally. You lot're both unique individuals and then your friendship probably won't develop exactly as you await.

Be forgiving. No ane is perfect and every friend will brand mistakes. No friendship develops smoothly and so when there'due south a bump in the road, try to find a way to overcome the trouble and move on. It will oftentimes deepen the bond between yous.

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Source: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/making-good-friends.htm

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